My cruelty-free waste-free hassle-free beauty routine

Glastonbury 2016 - every square inch is muddy but my hair is clean!

Glastonbury 2016 - every square inch is muddy but my hair is clean!

This weekend, we managed to get tickets to Glastonbury which is the most awesome week of music, drinks, food and not washing. It’s a dream. And honestly, apart from the lack of shower, my hygiene routine does not differ much at a festival from what it’s like at home. I do not worry about greasy hair because I go months at a time without ‘washing’ it at home, so a festival is a walk in the park and I can just focus on the things which matter, like making friends, having fun and being captured in ridiculous pictures.

The true spirit of Glastonbury

The true spirit of Glastonbury

I am lazy, I don’t like spending money on products, I am a bit of a minimalist, I hate collecting “stuff” and I am a vegan zero-waster. It sounds like I am a difficult customer, but it just means I have removed toxins, plastics, animal products and time from my “beauty routine” (if you can even call it that) and do not use any products which are tested on animals which, ultimately, has completely simplified the steps I have to take to make myself into a presentable human being. It might sound hard, but it is simple, requires few ingredients, saves a lot of money, a lot of faff, a lot of unnecessary packaging and a lot of space!


Coconut oil, all the way. My husband calls me a greasy monkey when I first put it on but then it gets absorbed and your skin feels super soft.



Again, there are awesome ones you can buy, but I like to mix bicarbonate of soda with essential oils, rub coconut oil into my arm pit (no nice way to say that) and then apply the baking soda mix. NOTE: the brand of sodium bicarbonate may matter – some irritate my skin and others like Arm & Hammer tend to be fine.



I am proud to be part of the ‘no poo’ movement! Commercial shampoos are full of toxins and chemicals, come in plastic bottles, are often tested on animals and can cost a lot of money. No poo does require a transition period, but it’s totally worth it. Essentially you wash your hair with only water for as long as you can (I wore a fair amount of head scarves in the beginning to hide grease) and when it gets too much, use bicarbonate of soda dissolved in hot water with a few drops of essential oil, work it into your hair and then wash out. Then rinse and repeat (pun intended). You will be able to go longer and longer without using anything but water. I go about 2-3 months now before I have to ‘wash’ my hair. Alternatively, you can use a shampoo bar or something similar.



If I do deep condition (I don’t often), I rub coconut oil into my hair (starting to see a pattern here?) and tie it up for about 30 mins to soak in the moisture. Then, I wash it out using the baking soda mix I mentioned earlier.



I literally just use a bar of soap. Or water – it’s an astringent, meaning it tighten pores, makes skin smoother and clears away dirt and grime. Make sure the soap doesn’t come in plastic and is made from natural ingredients. If at a festival, coconut oil is a great cleanser and moisturises at the same time.



This varies depending on what I have, but the base is always baking soda (again, I use this for everything, including cleaning) and essential oils (usually a lot of peppermint and a bit of lemon). Sometimes I add clay if I happen to have it in the house, and sometimes I add activated charcoal which draws out toxins and actually whitens your teeth!



I don’t wear a lot of makeup so I don’t feel like I can be much of an authority here but there are so many vegan zero-waste brands available or, if you feel like making your own, gittemary has some awesome tutorials on her YouTube channel (I’ll be trying a few myself when I finally run out of my old makeup).


As you can see, all you really need is coconut oil, sodium bicarbonate and some essential oils and you’ve basically got all your toiletries. It’s all natural, all comes in glass or bulk and all cruelty-free. Not to mention it has dramatically simplified my whole ‘beauty’ routine which saves me time, money and space. I’m not saying don’t buy anything and don’t wear makeup, some people are really into that and more power to them. All I’m saying is I am not, and if a lazy little shit like me can manage to make her own stuff, anyone can do this. If it’s too overwhelming, just pick one thing first, maybe your moisturiser, and start from there. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again – no change is ever too small. Everyone starts somewhere. The important thing is just that you start.